Dichotomy

    When I was trying to figure out how to say what my aim was in writing this blog, I wrote, “how do I choose to LIVE while preparing to DIE.” It is this dichotomy that is the challenge. In discussing this with friends, several of them in my age bracket said something along the lines of “I try not to think about it.” They do show interest in trying to make the most of their remaining years, but keeping “their death” in mind is a subject they seem to avoid. I think this is a common and somewhat logical position, but there are downsides to just putting it out of your mind.     

     For one thing, there is the fact that many people experience a renewed appreciation for life when they hear of the death of a friend or even a celebrity. I remember when Oprah was talking about the effect the death of JFK, Jr. had on her. Beyond the personal loss, she talked about vowing to never take life for granted. Now, what better way to make sure that your appreciation of life lasts, than to keep the end of your life on your radar? This is more difficult when you are younger, because it seems like your death is so far away, usually “only old people die.”     

     At seventy, when you are trying to make the most of the time you have left, and you see that even if you live to be 100 - you have lived 70% of your life already – it’s a bit easier to see the end. It reminds me of the old cartoon drawing of the guy on the street corner with a sign hanging around his neck that says, “The End is near.” Exactly what is meant by near? Obviously, death can come at any time, any age. But I think I’m close enough to my “near” to start paying attention.     

     Paying attention to the end also gives me perspective on the choices I make today - the long-term choices about my diet and fitness and the possible impact they have on my longevity and the certain impact they have on my quality of life, the plans I make for travel and recreation, and spending time with my children and grandchildren while I am still very active, and I definitely need a bucket list along with a to-do list of all the practical health and financial arrangements.     

     Keeping my end as part of my consciousness is part of living each day to the fullest, actually spending my days with appreciation as I move along. I put a plant in my vegetable garden called Dog Be Gone to keep my big dog from digging things up. It is a lovely plant, beautiful when it flowers, that smells like a skunk if you touch it or water the leaves. It is a stinky beauty. A dichotomy I can live with, just like awareness of my life and my death.