“God
grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to
change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.” This is a form of a longer prayer written by
theologian Reinhold Niebuhr that was modified and has been used by Alcoholics
Anonymous since the early 1940s. OK, so
I know most people are familiar with the Serenity Prayer. But if you really use this prayer, and apply
it to everything, it is transformative.
By really using it I mean that you must say it when you are burdened by
worry or don’t know what to do about something and be willing to apply
it to everything - no picking and choosing which life and death decisions you get to make, and which ones to turn over to God!
In
theory this sounds pretty easy, but even the first part can be difficult. Just the words, “accept the things I cannot
change” can be daunting when you are faced with serious illness or personal
issues with yourself or loved ones. The
more serious the issue the more difficult it can be to accept that ultimately,
no matter how hard you work to figure out the best course of action, things may
not go well. I also want to point out
here that accepting the things I cannot
change does not necessarily translate into doing nothing. There still may be therapies, treatments,
plans and things to do, and there is always prayer. What it does mean, is that you accept that
you don’t control the outcome. This is
where the serenity starts to kick it.
Challenge
number two is the courage to change the
things I can. The first hurdle is
figuring out what your role is. You are
not in control of someone else’s life and you are not even in control of many
things in your own life. This is where the wisdom to know the difference comes
in to play. When you are worried about
someone else, there is a built in barrier to taking action unless the person is
a young child, incapacitated or asking you take the reins. Here as with your own life, problems are
complex and there’s usually no easy solution, so seeking counsel and praying
are in order.
Now,
I’ve come full circle to saying the Serenity Prayer. In the darkest hours I say this non-stop – it
always helps, sometimes to a wondrous effect.
There is of course the soothing part from just continuing to remind myself
that there is much about life I cannot change.
It's still sometimes shocking to me that I can’t figure it all out, and
fix everything, but in releasing myself from that responsibility and turning it
over to God, I find a certain peace of mind.
It is in a more tranquil state that the magic can happen. My mind, unclouded by fear and anxiety, stops
struggling to find answers, and thoughts just appear. Ideas to comfort me or a loved one. Ideas for things I can change. The space to
enjoy my life no matter what is going on.
If you or someone you love struggles with addiction, depression or just
a difficult passage in life, it can seem like you are living under a dark
cloud. Praying for the serenity needed
to navigate the ups and downs of circumstances way beyond your control can let
a little sunshine in to your life.
