I love the Serenity Prayer. For anyone not familiar with it, it goes,
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to
change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” Saying it always makes me feel better. Maybe I won’t be able to discern what I can
and cannot change, but at least it underlines the reality that there are many
things I have no control over. Otherwise
my mind is a little like a dog with an empty peanut butter jar – relentless to
get at what it can’t reach, frustrated and stuck trying!
For
so much of my life I have felt compelled to try to solve any problem that came
my way - mine or anyone else’s who confided in me. I was going to say “anyone who asked for my
help,” but honestly, most of the time I volunteered or just jumped right
in. This, of course, is worth a whole
thesis on my well honed enabling, but that can come at a later date!
Last
night I was listening to an interview with Navy Seal, Mark Owen, who was describing
some of the best advice he had ever received. He was telling about a rock- climbing trip when
at three hundred feet up he froze. The
instructor made his way over to him and said, “ ‘Hey
buddy. Stay in your three-foot world.’ ‘What are you, what the hell are you
talking about?’ He says, ‘Look, you can't affect anything outside of three feet
around you, can you?’ I'm like, ‘Well, no.’ ‘So stay in your three-foot world.
Look inside your three-foot world, find the next hand hold, and climb your way
out.’ I climbed my way out, and I've applied that analogy to so many things in
my life. If I can't affect them, don't worry about it. You can't. People waste
so much of their time and-- and effort worrying about things outside of their
control. Learn from them, move on, and don't worry about it.’ “
For me, this concept applies to
everything. When faced with simple daily
problems it translates into doing what is at hand and/or vital to accomplish
that day. Often it’s just the car repair, doctor’s appointment, daily calendar
items, and sometimes it’s household maintenance emergencies. If I relax and move through the day most
things get done, and the rest just moves to a later date. It can actually enhance any efforts to get
things done NOW instead of waiting until you can do a better job of it – which
in my case can lead to unlimited procrastination!
When it’s greater “life” problems often
there is nothing I can do at the moment, and thinking about future difficulties
just saps my energy with F.E.A.R. (Future Events Already Ruined) thinking! I am especially prone to paralysis when the
issues are in someone else’s hands. If I
am dependent on another person’s actions it creates a whole different level of
concern. It doesn’t matter if it’s my
issue or a concern I have about how someone I care about is managing their life,
I usually have some pretty clear ideas of what would be best for me (them.) The three foot world view keeps my attention
on what is right in front of me instead
of in someone else’s life or in the future.
It really is another way of visualizing the “one step at a time” credo.
Focusing on my “three foot world”
energizes me. Right now, instead of
looking up my old blog entries to re-write in my head (correcting the flaws
that are all too obvious from my current perspective,) clicking around online, or stopping to take a break hoping I will come up with an inspired finish, I will just wrap up this entry. When I am contained in my three foot world my tendency to over think, decide and re-decide how to do something, or become mired in my desire to find the perfect solution, gives way to just finding the next handhold and climbing my way out.
 |
| Chicken getting off the wall. |
