Beginning

       To keep my “end of days” in my consciousness, while being focused on living vibrantly every day, is my challenge.  The first piece of my plan is to add something to a habit I already have in place.  My husband and I start the morning with prayer and meditation.  What we do is determined by how much time we have.  If we are up early enough and don’t have early appointments we start with Wayne Dyer Japa morning meditation, but if there is a time crunch we have short version, and a shorter version, of morning meditation and prayers.  The short version does not include Wayne Dyer but we do read from “One Day at a Time in Al-Anon” and “Around the Year with Emmett Fox.”  The shortest version is going straight to the prayers: one I wrote when our son was a teenager that I have edited to include the whole family and, “St. Patrick’s Breastplate.”

       This is where I will add a prayer to include my intention to live with awareness about my “end of days.”  This is my first go at it.  We will try it out, as part of our morning ritual, and by the praying will find out if it’s what needs to be prayed for.

       “I call upon you, O Lord, my strength, to keep my awareness grounded in the ending of my time on earth, so that I come to you having made the most of the gifts you have given me.”

       I am most definitely a life long prayer.  Prayer has been my refuge, giving me strength in times of trial, and humility in times of success.  For those who have a problem with praying, or the belief in God, I suggest the Alcoholics Anonymous concept of God; a Higher Power as you understand him.  It is surrendering and just accepting that ultimately you are not in control of your life or most certainly your death.  If you were, I’m sure you would join me in declining the opportunity to exit the planet!  Do whatever works for you. Pray to a higher power of reason, truth, beauty, nature, a universal oversoul, a life-giving power, or anything else outside of yourself.  Turn it all over to him.

      

       Now, this is where I must address the seldom-silent ego voice in my head that arrives uninvited to derail my plans.  It could start quietly while I’m just waking with a message that today I should just get up and get busy right away, I don’t need to pray/meditate every day!  Or pop in later in the day when I have planned to write, with a helpful hint that I really should clean out the linen closet!  Mind you, sometimes I do get up really early and start writing or cleaning, but fortunately most of the time my lovely husband finds me and I go back to our bedroom where we say our morning prayers.  And better yet, when I do miss something I am committed to, I let go of most judgment thoughts that tell me I’m not disciplined enough, etc.  This makes for a much more enjoyable day without heaping guilt and recriminations on top of a missed commitment.  My aim, after all, is to have this process add to the quality of my life, not be something that becomes a burden.    

                                      Morning ritual...with Rufus.