Wrinkles and Waves

Of course, the obvious topic for a woman of my age would be the facial lines that appear in my mirror to remind me which direction I’m headed.  When this kind of wrinkle inspires any activity, it usually involves a new facial product or a trip to the dermatologist.  But that will be the topic for another day, perhaps several days, because the mirror is a daily reminder!  Wrinkles in my daily life are usually small problems or upsets, and I have become skilled at moving through them fairly quickly.  They add the texture to my daily life that I have learned to embrace.

       I’m talking waves.  The large ripples to the big swells.  These are the surges, the bursts of feeling that cause a disturbance in the daily flow of my life.  It can be from something that happens to me, but they are often caused when I hear about something happening to someone in my family.  It can be emotional problems, financial difficulties, health challenges, relationship disappointments, work – you name it, if it threatens a loved one, it’s like a ripple in my force field.

       One of the hardest aspects of this is that there’s little if anything I can do about it.  I can listen, give advice (which is not always wanted and sometimes causes an adjunct problem,) sympathize, console and resist the urge to try to fix it - which is my default setting.  This is where the Serenity Prayer needs to play on repeat in my head:  “God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.”  When the problem is in my own life this is also my prayer, but then I can also take action.  Finding the courage to change the things I can, is often challenging.  Even figuring out what I cannot change and therefore need to accept can be difficult. 

       The figuring things out part is where it can get dicey.  When a problem takes up residence in my mind, it can be difficult to focus on anything else, much less find serenity!  At best I am preoccupied and not really present in my own life, and at worst I am anxious, feel sick and have trouble sleeping.  Recently at an Al-Anon meeting a woman shared an acronym that stuck with me, FEAR: Future Events Already Ruined.  This is the parade of endless scenarios my mind churns out about the bad things that will happen if I don’t find the answer, give the right advise, make the best decision, and on and on.  This is when worry has a front row seat in the bleachers in my brain.  How do I stop the vicious cycle of “what if” and “what should I do?” 

       Replace the thought.  Bring the picture of the results you want out of the back of the stadium and up to the front row.  Re-read or listen to Wayne Dyer on “The Power of Intention.”  Or take a look at some of what’s been written about the Law of Attraction or Manifesting.  After I started writing this piece I got up to do morning prayer and meditation with my husband and he read this from the Emmett Fox entry for the day, January 20: “The rule is to think about God, and if you are thinking about your difficulty you are not thinking about God.  To be continually glancing over your shoulder in order to see how matters are progressing is fatal, because that is thinking of the trouble, and you must think of God, and nothing else.  Your object is to drive the thought of the difficulty right out of your consciousness…”

       How perfectly timed God’s messages are, if only we are listening.